(I was going to write this in German because I know a really bad word joke that I wanted to make. “Heute hab ich mein Zimmer umgestaltet. Oder vielleicht verunstaltet.” Told you it’s really bad. But I feel more like English now, so what the hell.)
So I changed some bits of my room today.
Bits of room sounds funny. Well, actually I didn’t really do much, it was mostly my dad doing what I told him to do. I had this shelf above my desk - do you call it a shelf? - and it was sloping, which isn’t very practical if you want to put things on it. So my dad took it off the wall and put a different shelf up, one that isn’t sloping. And then he attached some magnetic things to the wall, so I can have postcards on the wall without having to stick them on or something. Because I had that with postcards and when I wanted to take them off, the glue destroyed the cardboard, and it sucked.
You’re probably like, “What the hell, why do I care, it’s her room and I’ve never even been in there”, but hey, my blog, my life.
I feel odd, now that it’s done. It was like the thing I was going to do this summer, and it’s done now. Well, I still have to buy magnets and put things on the shelf, but other than that, it’s done. It doesn’t feel like summer anyway, since the weather’s been really bad lately, and I have so many things to do - does anyone here notice how I contradict myself - it just doesn’t feel like summer. And it’s august! It doesn’t get more summer-y than august!
To summarize.
(Ha-ha. Bad joke again.)
I have plenty of stuff to do, but none of it is actually relaxing. Next week, I’ll be running around meeting people from college, because my first year at college is about to begin, and for those wanting to know: no, I’m not looking forward to it. I suck at meeting new people. And then there’s a week of doing nothing, in which there might be a birthday party, and then there’s a week I’ll be spending in Zurich with my dad.
But where’s the summer?
Where’s the sun?
Where’s my happy-go-lucky self?
Where’s my childish behaviour?
Where’s the inspiration for all my stories?
Where’s the fun with friends?
Where’s all the ideas, the dreams, the real summer feeling of being able to do anything, just because it’s summer and summer makes people happy?
Maybe it’s just me. But I can’t find any of that anywhere.
I do feel a bit more grown-up than I used to because I have to do all these things to get into university. Order this, do that, fill out a form here, write an email to someone, next week, all that crap. I get letters from the Ministry of Education’s administration office nearly every day about this and that and whatever else I have to do. Even confirmations of things, telling me it’s alright and done with, freak me out.
I want some of the summer feeling back. Preferably with a bit of sun, but even if that can’t be done, some greyish summer would do just fine, too. As long as it’s relaxing rather than making me want to bite my nails in anxiety. Playing the piano and the bass yesterday, that was fun. And relaxing. And summer-y. And today I was seriously contemplating putting on a sweater because it’s cold.
So it feels like my summer’s already over. And we’re only halfway through.
Bon appetit (because I have to go and eat dinner now.)
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